2018 was my year of bravery.
I was brave enough to get a surgery to better my life. I was brave enough to work on my mental health to the point that my brain is finally the quietest it’s ever been (trust me that’s all relative lol… it was pretty noisy before). I was also brave enough to jump into doing boudoir with both feet. That was challenging. Having a business that was already pretty dang good with my maternity and newborns and starting over again was hard to do for this impatient lady right here *points at self*. But it was also a seriously rewarding experience. I was moved by the stories of the women I spoke to this year. How similar yet different we all are. It gave the objective observer in me so much food for thought… and it has really formed how I am approaching boudoir for 2019.
One of the most impactful sessions of the year was with Katrine. She was this beautiful woman I met through photographing her family. When I first broached the subject of doing a boudoir session she said that there was no way she was ever going to do it. She told me about her past, how when she was young she was dancer and she was constantly bullied and judged on her weight and body shape. She was heavy chested (which as a heavy chested dancer I totally understood the mortification of trying to show beauty and grace, but then your titties are just jiggling everywhere). She even went through a breast reduction because of how painfully big her breasts were. She told me that her self esteem was too low to even consider doing something like this, and I don’t know how, but I was able to convince her to give it a try. I think the main reason I was able to convince her, was that she was ready to start loving and accepting herself, she was tired of the pain and the self hatred, she just didn’t know it yet.
When we did our session we did a lot of talking. That’s the thing, some sessions, I am all business and fun and taking as many photos as I can, but sometimes I develop a connection with my client and I can see this inner sorrow they have, and this vulnerability that they are showing me in how they so badly want to love and accept themselves, but have no clue how. So we talked… we talked about how much of her self-hatred was centered around her breasts, and how the issues that she had with them were only surface deep. And just the matter of learning to love these boobs, as they are, could really bring her so much inner peace. We did the session, I delivered the photos and that was all. Or so I thought…
One day in my closed Facebook group for my VIPs she posted a beautiful live video. Explaining how impactful her session was. She told me things I never realized that I did for her. She said how she was the heaviest she had ever been, but in seeing those photos she found the beauty within her she never knew she had. Here are her words from the video:
So I want 2019 to be your year of bravery. Take a chance on yourself.
Now just enjoy the beauty and vulnerability and STRENGTH of this session <3